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The use of technology has definitely affected people’s ability to communicate face to face. As I have substantial damage to my hearing, I often watch people’s mouths and am constantly observing body language. Ten Hulzen and Fabry (2020) indicate in their journal article “Impact of Hearing Loss and Universal Face Masking in the COVID-19 Era” that masks can act as an inhibitor of certain frequencies of sound and reduced the speaker’s voice by between 3 and 12 dB depending on the mask. I have come to rely heavily on these things to actually understand what someone is saying along with the context of the words. I often will opt for text-based communications in most instances because for some reason I’m finding more and more people wearing masks while alone in a virtual conference call which in many cases muffles their voice.
The near real-time always-on access to the internet has made everyone, including me, generally more impatient. People get frustrated when the messaging app indicates that the other person is typing, but we get angry when it stays that way for a while then goes away with no response. Technology has facilitated same and next-day delivery, which is an astounding logistical feat.
It took many years and several awesome guys that I looked up to before I was able to fully grasp the many aspects of a face-to-face conversation. When I learned Russian around 18 years ago I went to Russia and realized how much we wear our emotions on our faces. The Russian students I was with could read me and could almost estimate what I was going to say next based on body language and facial expressions. Most people say I have an RBF because I’ve generally learned to minimize how much I wear my emotions. This is where the stereotypical Slavic stoic looking probably has its roots. When you become aware and able to use non-verbal communication, either through enjoyment or necessity, there can be so much more depth and enjoyment when you notice that a person is fully invested in a story you’re telling, or vice-versa.
With the constant checking of our phones and the propensity to choose the comfortably crafted digital presence, we are missing out on much of what makes human interactions valuable. The feeling of someone you’re attracted to scooting closer to you while you’re talking. Or the perfectly timed joke along with body language that made that old story new again while hanging out with old friends. These situations aren’t the same because amongst many things the biological reaction your body has in these situations is either not occurring or is occurring on a scale that is much lower.
I am constantly reminded of the phrase by John Wesley saying, “What one generation tolerates, the next generation will embrace.” Often used in the context of behavior and discipline, it fits well with the skyrocketing usage of technology by children. Yes, they are proficient, and I was that kid growing up too, but the behavior of childhood is a person’s baseline. So, if as a child you spent 6 hours a day either playing video games, surfing the internet, and/or doing something similar you understanding of a reasonable amount of time on there starts at 6 hours where an adult from the previous generation may have said 2 or 3. I know this is highly anecdotal and developments during personal development can and often do change people substantially throughout life, but I feel that that latent baseline still exists.
Ten Hulzen, R. D., & Fabry, D. A. (2020) Impact of hearing loss and universal face masking in the covid-19 era. Mayo Clinic Proceedings, 95(10), 2069-2072. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.mayocp.2020.07.027
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