Describe the person’s behavior to him (what he said or did) in very specific terms. (DO NOT EVALUATE!) HINT: You can complete the phrase above with “. . . when you (describe actual actions) .” EXAMPLE: “ . . . when you don’t pick me up on time.” (NOTE: Make sure you don’t insert a hidden “you”-message here either, like: “. . . when you acted like an inconsiderate jerk.”

“I-LANGUAGE” PAPER
(1) Use “I-Language” correctly on at least one occasion with someone you have an interpersonal relationship with. Your interaction must be face-to-face communication — NO telephone or Internet (e-mail, web chat, messenger, etc.) conversations.
I -STATEMENTS
1. Describe the person’s behavior to him (what he said or did) in very specific terms. (DO NOT EVALUATE!) HINT: You can complete the phrase above with “. . . when you (describe actual actions) .” EXAMPLE: “ . . . when you don’t pick me up on time.” (NOTE: Make sure you don’t insert a hidden “you”-message here either, like: “. . . when you acted like an inconsiderate jerk.”
2. Express how you feel about the person’s behavior (NOT how the person “made you feel.”) Begin your sentence with “I feel (emotion) . . .” OR “I get (emotion) . . . ” EXAMPLE: “I feel frustrated . . . “ (NOTE: Make sure you don’t have a hidden “you”-message, like: “I feel you acted like an inconsiderate jerk last night.”)
3. Express your reasoning. Begin this part with a “Because …” statement, where you explain why you are choosing to feel the way you are about the person’s behavior. This should not be a chance to slip in a hidden “you”-message. Instead, ask yourself, “Why am I choosing to feel this way about his/her behavior.”
HINT: These steps may be stated in any order. Be sure not to send a “double message” of sarcasm or insincerity with your tone of voice or body language.
(2) Write a 3-page essay describing your experience. Use the “I-Language” grading criteria to help you structure your paper correctly.
(3) Refer to the “Written Communication” hand-out to make sure you follow the APA formatting requirements and special requests. PLEASE PROOFREAD YOUR PAPER AND MAKE CORRECTIONS BEFORE TURNING IT IN!

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