This is the extended essay for my IB diploma. I’d finished it but I would like someone to polish its language for me. Please make the sentences in this essay sounds more natural while fitting the requirement for a formal writing. Besides, I’d like you to help me check the citation (both in -text ones and reference, if they fit the requirement). The upper word limit of this essay is 4000 while appendix, annotation of graphs(including source of data), reference and cover page are not included in this limit. I will finish a word of content after that so basically there is nothing to add in content. Though this document contains more than 30 pages, most of them are images to visualize the analysis.
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