Attatched is my professors edits for this essay. Below are furthur instructions (from when I met with him):
– FIX THESIS FIRST (will help with the rest of edits)
– ^ get the general theme of paper and make that the thesis- What is signifigant/why?
– Make one common theme throughout paper
– For topic sentences- add transitions that relate to previous paragraph (regardless, next,etc)
– ^ also make sure its easy to follow
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