Every day, tell your children that you love them. Hug them at least once every 24 hours. Never hit them. If they do something wrong, don’t say “You’re bad!” Say, “What you did was bad.” No, wait-even that might be too harsh. Say, instead, “What you did made me unhappy.”…The advice isn’t wrong; it’s just ineffective. Whether parents do or don’t follow it has no measurable effect on how their children turn out. There is a great deal of evidence that the differences in how parents rear their children are not responsible for the differences among children.
-Harris, Judith Rich. Wilson Quarterly Winter 1991. (as quoted in Taking Sides:
Clashing Views in Lifespan Development, 3rd Ed., 2011, p. 26)
The five behavioral traits associated with personality (openness, conscientiousness, extroversion, agreeableness, neuroticism)…are influenced 50 per cent by genetic factors…So it appears that the family environment…plays only a minor role. It is our unshared environment that plays a major role in shaping who we become…what does seem to matter is the part of the environment not shared between siblings…one study suggests that the nonshared environment accounts for only 2 per cent of that variance. So what would account for the other 48 percent? Erik Turkheimer and Mary Waldron of the University of Virginia propose that it is the “unsystematic, idiosyncratic and serendipitous events such as accidents, illnesses and other trauma.”
-Gazzaniga, Michael S. The Ethical Brain. 2005. pp. 47-48.
As the above quotes imply, Judith Harris, Developmental Psychologist and Michael Gazzaniga, Professor and Director of the Center of Cognitive Neuroscience at Dartmouth College, parents play only a minor role in what/who people become. Ms. Harris further points out that the idea parents matter is based on invalid aspects of Freudian theory. In relation to this, respond to the following:
1. Is the idea of parenting (other than custodial necessary) in personality development actually a cultural myth?
2. If no, why not and if yes, why.
3. No matter which side of the debate you choose, list ways in which parents ought to deal with their children.
Remember that this dialogue incorporates three modules (Freud, Attachment Theory and Parental Effectiveness). Your resposne should reflect ideas discussed in each one.
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