Below is feedback based on past writing experiences that I have submitted. I have also attached the rubric and below you will find comments
directly from the teacher regarding the past two writing assignments:
Assignment 1 – was well supported by theory. You referred to 3 separate articles and all of your citations were well-integrated with the exception of one.
Assignment 2 – two articles were cited and used appropriately. However, there were several other connections made to play theory, but not supported by course readings/theory. I will refer to a couple of these –
In Assignment 2, you made some important observations and conclusions regarding A’s play and learning. For example on page 1 you stated –
“Young children may not have a clear understanding of what play is, engaging in it naturally and instinctively.”
This would be well supported by some of the theorists we discussed at the beginning of this term particularly those in Jan. 16-22. In addition, Hendricks (2008) had much to say about our definitions of play.
On pp. 3-4, you stated – ” Play is a way of engaging in activities that are enjoyable and satisfying, providing a break from more serious or challenging tasks but it continues to be a way to explore and learn about the world around us as well express creativity and imagination or socialising with others”.
In this sentence, you clearly identify that play helps with the development of creativity, imagination and social skills. Which play theorists support this? Many of the theories in the readings in Feb. 5-19 discussed these ideas. You need to either quote or paraphrase those that have made similar claims.
On pages 4 and 5 you made other important comments about A’s development, but did not support these with theory – either with direct quotations or paraphrases (and citations).
The only way that I can see the connections you make between your conclusions and the theory is by direct reference to the readings. At a graduate level, you will need many quotes and/or paraphrases to do this.
As far as APA – there are only a few minor issues here.
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