What additional information could be provided to present a clearer picture and/or indicate the direction the author is taking?

Part One
Your response to Part One should comprise at least 50 words. Organization: Does the narrative have a clear beginning, middle, and end?
Development: Are the setting, time frame, people, dialogue (if appropriate), conflict or focus, theme, and thoughtful conclusion clearly presented?
Style & Conventions: Are the grammar, punctuation, and usage reasonably acceptable? Mark any awkward, confusing, or tangled sentences. (If the paper has a substantial number of grammar and usage errors, I do notexpect the reviewer to correct every single one. This is ultimately the writer’s responsibility).
Part Two
Your responses to the following questions will make up the bulk of your workshop response.
At the bottom of the draft respond to each of the questions below with at least one fully developed paragraph of 6-10 sentences each. Please number each one so it is clear where your responses to each question begin and end.
Introduction: How does the author set up his/her narrative? What additional information could be provided to present a clearer picture and/or indicate the direction the author is taking?
Evidence/Illustration: What kind of concrete evidence does the author use to complement the events in the story? If the story is about a sports accident, does the author describe the scene and action, or does the author simply say, “In July 2014 I broke my leg?” Showing is better than telling; help the author be descriptive.
Unity, Coherence, and Development: How does the narrative move from one point to the next? Does it provide enough information in the body paragraphs to build toward an effective conclusion? Try to characterize the dominant impression you get from the author’s narrative: is the tone sad, angry, loving, joyous?
What is this draft’s strongest point, and what element area needs the most work?

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