This is my teacher’s feedback. The article is attached in the files. Please re-read it to make the essay better. Thank you.
Good start! This is a bit too lengthy for an outline. Here are some points to help you as you begin drafting:
(1) Introduction
—You are missing a clear thesis here. Please review the video lecture on this essay to see some examples, or you can review the thesis templates from last week. Your thesis should include the authors’ names, titles of the works you are comparing, and central point(s) of comparison. Keep in mind that for formal academic writing, you generally don’t want to begin the thesis with “This essay…”, instead focus on answering the prompt.
(2) Body Paragraphs
—Revise your main points. Right now, the points you are making are a bit far fetched and don’t specifically address some of the more important issues discussed in these texts. Try to dig deeper into the analysis and look at the video lecture on this essay to see some good example.
—After you revise your main points, revise your topic sentences. Try to keep the topic sentences concise and to the point.
For example… Both Cofer and Krutzsch reveal how stereotypes allow negative assumptions to be made about a person.
—Add transitions
—Don’t forget to follow ICE for all of your quotes (introduce, cite, and explain). Follow the quote integration rules to set up your quotes, review MLA format for your citations, and make sure to unpack your quotes fully by using the Quote Analysis Checklist.
—Make sure to review how to quote dialogue in MLA format in our module handout this week
—You are not citing your quotes in MLA, nor have you attempted to do so (-3)
(3) Don’t forget to include an MLA Works Cited page
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